The Power of Humility

"Humility is the foundation of all other virtues, hence in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance." - Saint Augustine

"True humility is contentment." - Henri Frederic Amiel

Humility is the opposite of pride, but we are often told to take pride in ourselves and in what we do... So where does this contradiction come from? My ego wants me to believe that I am always right. It is opinionated, full of self-importance, wanting to save face or to bully others into doing things my way... This is when I need to stop and think, and put myself in other people's shoes.

It's okay to be proud of your achievements, but a healthy dose of self-esteem is not the same as arrogance. Arrogance comes from fear: the fear of not being good enough, of being rejected, of not being taken seriously. Therefore arrogance comes from a feeling of insecurity that the individual covers up with a false sense of pride. This leads to a rigid attitude towards others and anything that doesn't comply with a fixed image of the way things should be.

To be humble is to be open-minded. It's to be able to admit that one is wrong, that one doesn't know everything. No one has the key to ultimate knowledge. There is always room for improvement, and for learning new things. Every day we gather new experiences, and have the opportunity to change our perspective on people and circumstances. What was valid yesterday might not be that way today or tomorrow. To be humble is to be adaptable, flexible and able to go with the flow...

I need to have a realistic view of myself, of my assets as well as my shortcomings, my strengths as well as my weaknesses. I need to embrace myself for who I am, and love others for who they are instead of trying to change them. Humility is contentment because it brings with it peace, tolerance and acceptance...

With love,
Isa

Painting: "Sea Shell" by Theodora Dimitrijevic

Living a Healthy Life

"The greatest wealth is health." - Vigil

We may be able to amass a lot of wealth over the years, but we won't be able to enjoy it without health. We may be able to achieve great heights in our professional lives, but what would it mean without wellbeing? The only way to feel joy is to feel good within ourselves, to feel at ease. The word dis-ease reflects the imbalance caused by a body that is out of tune. This is often due to the abuse that we inflict on it, due to a detrimental lifestyle.

Every day we have the opportunity to look after our bodies to the best of our ability. Now is the time to begin, not tomorrow or next month or next year, or when this or that has happened. We can't keep making excuses and we need to make a commitment to look after ourselves. We are precious, unique human beings and deserve to live the best possible life on this planet.

Drinking too much alcohol, smoking and overeating as well as taking unnecessary drugs are actions that have a cumulative effect on our inner organs and will accelerate the aging and degeneration processes. The least amount of garbage we put into our bodies, the better. Addictions are often hard to break. To be successful in giving up a substance we need to take our focus off it, and concentrate on the advantages of being sober, drug-free, nicotine-free etc. Less junk food for instance means more energy and endurance to do things that are pleasurable, such as persuing a hobby or taking up a fun exercise routine. It will also make us more confident when meeting new people.

Who we are, what we look like and how we feel: these are consequences of our actions over a lifetime. We often experience health problems as the result of our habits and these have a profound effect over a number of years. We are not helpless creatures when it comes to our health, and we can actively do something about it. It is never too late to change. Even if a chronic disease is already there, a positive lifestyle will improve our immune system and help us deal better with pain and discomfort. There is no situation that cannot be improved, and this includes the body as well as the mind.

Let me think about what I can do for myself today: drink water, eat good food including fruit and vegetables, get some exercise and adequate rest, put worries aside and trust my Higher Power to look after my problems...
All my love,
Isa

Focusing on the Good Stuff

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." - Cicero



It is a habit for a lot of us to have an inner conversation about the things that do not go according to our plans. "Oh no, not again... Why does this have to happen to me? Why me? Why can't I be lucky for a change?" We also tend to spend a lot of time judging ourselves and others in a negative way: "I shouldn't have done that... I'm such an idiot... If only I'd known... He's so annoying... She's so selfish... These people have no manners... She needs to lose weights... He drinks too much... She's so arrogant... They don't know what they're doing..." And our thoughts continue along this line... including what we say about our financial situation: "There's never enough money... Look at all these bills! When am I going to have money? Why do prices go up all the time? Why do we have to pay so much tax?"

We need to clear our heads of this inner chatter which doesn't do us any good, and begin to focus on the GOOD things in our lives. Is there anything that's going well for me? It could be my health, or having a job, or driving a reliable car... It could be my teenage kids that are doing well in school... It could be my cat or my dog or my goldfish that gives me pleasure, just by being there for me when I come home... It could be my boss who hasn't complained for three weeks... There is so much to be grateful for.

Instead of focusing on the negative, we can change our thoughts and begin to like our circumstances and the people around us, instead of rejecting them and fighting against them. No human being is perfect, but as we accept other people's imperfections, while highlighting their strengths and qualities, we begin to see them in a different light. We become more lenient, and have less expectations. None of us are saints; we are all fallible, prone to mistakes, and likely to hurt others, sometimes unintentionally. Others hurt us too, and might say or do things we don't like. This is not something we can change... However, we can set boundaries and not allow others to intrude into our privacy and interfere with our lives and our choices. We give them the right to be themselves, while kindly asking them to do the same for us.

We can allow things to affect us and become upset. Or we can choose to maintain an inner peace that nothing can shatter. Temporary frustration is nothing compared to inner harmony and stability. If we feel low, we can look outside the window, and reflect on the scenery: the sky, the clouds, the wind blowing the trees around... A single flower, an intricate spider web, children playing, birds twittering, people conversing with each other. Beauty is there for us, and we can appreciate it at any moment...

As soon as a negative, judgmental thought enters your mind, replace it with a positive, uplifting one. Cling to it and don't allow worry or anxiety to take over your inner landscape. Instead, have trust that all is well, and will continue to be that way, no matter what happens. Don't project crisis and disasters into the future. Instead, expect outcomes to be in your favor. Appreciate what you've got now, and you will attract more of it into your life.

Why not put complaints aside, and have a cheerful, grateful attitude? Why not try it, just for today...

Love,
Isa

Better to Remain Silent

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open one's mouth and remove all doubt" Abraham Lincoln

It is much easier to open your mouth and voice your opinion a soon as someone says something, rather than quietly listening without interrupting and without responding. And yet there is often more power in remaining silent than in talking, especially when we haven't had time to think things through properly. We often talk in a defensive way, and say things we regret later on. Just because we don't agree with someone doesn't mean we have to attack that person's judgment. Everyone is entitled to their ideas, and they don't necessarily have to match our own. We would like to make others conform to OUR view of the world, and how things should be. But there is a diversity we can't ignore, different ways of life that we might not approve of. Voicing our disapproval however won't change anything; it might only make things worse.

Detachment is the art of remaining silence in view of a person or situation that we find annoying, frustrating or downright infuriating. Let others get on with their lives and have their own experiences. We can't stop them from making mistakes, even though we can see them plainly. Pointing out their shortcomings to others will cause anger and mistrust. This is especially true if they're not ready to change and to amend their ways. A classic example is the alcoholic or drug addict who's not prepared to give up his or her addiction. No matter what we say will only make them want to abuse the substance more, while blatantly denying that they have a problem.

We often think that we know everything, that our knowledge surpasses that of others. Real wisdom however means that we can accept differences and do not try to convince others of our superiority. To remain silent requires analysis and self-control. To sit back and observe rather than blurt something out shows how maturity and patience. This individual strives for a peaceful solution instead of initiating conflict.

Why not try the silent approach today?

Love Isa

Bead Painting by Judy Templey: "Orcas Island big leaf maple"

Being an Optimist

"I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door - or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present."
Rabindranath Tagore

How we look at things defines us as pessimists or optimists. The pessimist doesn't believe in happy endings; he or she believes that we are doomed to be miserable, and that nothing good will ever happen to us. A lot of pessimists become depressed and turn to substance abuse to blot out painful feelings. They usually don't experience much success and tend to blame others for their problems. The optimist is the opposite: he or she believes that things will work out eventually, and that it is possible to be happy, no matter how grim things look at the moment. The optimist takes responsibility for his or her life and doesn't waste time looking for scapegoats.

So why is it better to be an optimist? Aren't we kidding ourselves when we put on those rosy glasses? It has been proven that optimists live longer, have less stress and suffer less diseases than pessimists. Optimists have stronger immune systems. They are also more successful than pessimists in every area of their lives, whether it be love, finances or simply getting a parking spot in a crowded lot.

Being an optimist is about being adventurous, and approaching every situation without fear and with a positive attitude. It is about trusting yourself and your ability to master any situation one step at a time, no matter how challenging it is. Congratulate yourself for your achievements so far, no matter how big or small they are, and how great or insignificant they might seem to others.

It is about surrounding yourself with positive people and shutting out negative influences. An optimist might hear a disparaging remark but won't take it to heart. He or she believes that human beings are inherently good and trustworthy. However, we all make mistakes, and this is how we learn... There is no failure. Everything that happens to us is an opportunity to move forward and to learn new skills, such as patience, endurance and self-discipline.

It is about eliminating unpleasant situations and people from your presence, and not dwelling upon bad memories. If you can't remove an unpleasant person because he or she is living with you (e.g. a parent or an adult child), just shut them out of your consciousness as much as possible and get on with your own life. Tell yourself that pain is only temporary, whereas optimism is an eternal gift. Once you've adopted it, your life will inevitably improve, because of the way you perceive people, situations and events.

Being an optimist is a way of life, probably the most rewarding of all.

Have a nice day,
Isa

Fear is a Habit

"Fear is a habit; so is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits with two simple resolves: I can!! and I will!!" - Unknown

We often approach new situations with anxiety and worry instead of trust. Past experiences are still with us, and we tend to compare what's happening now with what happened then and draw conclusions. We tend to believe that it will turn out the same way. Therefore, we decide to avoid certain situations altogether or approach them with negative expectations.

"Once bitten, twice shy" is what we live by. But is it really useful to imagine the worst, just because in the past this or that occurred and left a scar with us? Why not start the day with brand new hope in our hearts, and the certainty that things will work out this time?

Just because we had this experience in the past doesn't mean it will repeat itself. Circumstances can be similar, and yet outcomes can be different. The fear of being hurt is deeply ingrained within us. But we need to acknowledge that we are the ones who choose to be injured.

We might not be able to choose our circumstances, but we can choose our thoughts, feelings and reactions. Imagination is a powerful tool. It allows us to project ourselves into the future in a positive, fruitful manner, rather than feeling sorry for ourselves and being stuck in an uncomfortable place.

We can move forward fearlessly, without hesitation, and seize the day. We can enjoy the present and not worry about the future. We can live for the moment.

Make the most of today and don't allow fear to hold you back!

Bye for now,
Isa

Patience and Tolerance

"We cannot learn real patience and tolerance from a guru or a friend. They can be practiced only when we come in contact with someone who creates unpleasant experiences. According to Shantideva, enemies are really good for us as we can learn a lot from them and build our inner strength." - Dalai Lama

I find it hard to believe that enemies can actually be good for me. But without people doing things I disapprove of, or saying things that I find hurtful, I wouldn't have the opportunity to progress on the spiritual path...

No one is exactly how I would like them to be in an ideal world. Spouses, children, parents, coworkers act and react in ways that can be annoying and frustrating, as well as downright nasty at times. But this is my interpretation of their actions and words. They have their own problems, their own reasons to do things a certain way.

An example of patience and tolerance is how we react to someone's anger. "A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire." It is a natural, instinctive impulse to retaliate to an offensive action or remark, but unfortunately, this will only make matters worse. A much more constructive approach is to meet the attack with a calm and gentle attitude. I'm not saying we should allow people to walk all over us, but the way we say things is very important. Instead of being swayed by negative emotions, we can choose to keep our cool and respond with dignity. It is also a good idea to postpone a discussion when it becomes too heated.

With patience, we can endure situations that seem unbearable, while maintaining a positive, hopeful attitude. With tolerance, we can settle differences in a mature and constructive way, defusing conflict instead of contributing to it. Accepting others as they are is the key, as we can only change ourselves. This is the basis of spirituality.

All the best, and never give up - you'll get there eventually!

Isa